At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize