We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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