Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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