I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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