Screwed.edu
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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