Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
