remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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