i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This baby is an asshole
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
