you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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