I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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