Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
