And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
