It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I only lived at night.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
