are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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