my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
