Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
