Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
