Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
