It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
