I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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