It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
