Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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