The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
