I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
