He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
