walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
