I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i think i have two assholes
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
