It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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