epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
