honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
