Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
