P.S. I can't hear my feet
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
soo... how was my night?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
