question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
