I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
