i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
