I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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