So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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