you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
