I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
