wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
