I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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