Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
