Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
