Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
