True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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