It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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