I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
