I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
