so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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