i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
